A hopeful perspective?

The day before we left for Kent, one of my friends asked me how I was feeling... and I thought about it, and realised that I didn't feel particularly excited or nervous. I barely felt anything. Not in a bad way, but because I had no idea how I was going to feel until I actually got here, until I met everyone, until the moment was actually around me.

That feels like a surreal amount of time ago now. As does travelling here and meeting everyone for the first time… like we’ve been in Kent and known each other for longer than four days. I think because we were thrown straight into living on top of each other and eating together and studying together non-stop, it caused us all to speed run the stages of friendship😅

And it’s a lovely thing. I noticed it when we were in the pub yesterday... a moment of clarity as I looked round at everyone: that that confusion I felt on Tuesday night, not knowing how I would feel until I got there… that this is then. That moment is around me. This is how it turned out. And I barely had anything to be worried about.

So, we’re leaving for Spain in the morning (/tonight?) …and the apprehension I feel now is the same as I felt on Tuesday night… so I guess what I’m thinking is… that I hope the outcome is the same. That even though right now it feels impossible to picture myself in the school and teaching, I just hope, in a week or so, I will be sat in my room in León, or in a class, or out with the other Erasmuses somewhere, and I’ll look around… and I’ll think, this is it. This is the moment I was worrying about a week ago. And I’m OK. It’s all OK.


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